


Banana, Split

by nostalgia



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Adultery, F/M, Ice Cream, Kitchen Sex, Spoon Sex, midnight eating, poor rory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-12
Updated: 2011-11-12
Packaged: 2017-10-25 23:15:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/275931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nostalgia/pseuds/nostalgia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which the Doctor and Amy get it on in the kitchen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Banana, Split

**Author's Note:**

> For jal80, prompt was "dirty" and "Eleven/Amy and the sexy."

Amy was a quarter of the way through the tub of banana ice-cream when the Doctor appeared.

“Drowning your sorrows or satisfying a craving?” he asked from the kitchen doorway.

“Don't start,” she warned him. “And why aren't you asleep?”

“Weird dreams,” he said. Amy waited, but he didn't elaborate.

“Do you want some ice-cream?” she asked when it had become clear that he wasn't going to share his thoughts.

“What kind is it?”

“Banana. I think.”

The Doctor grabbed a spoon from a drawer and sat down next to Amy, who pushed the ice-cream tub towards him a bit.

“Late night, ice-cream,” he said, “is this where we talk about boys?”

“Do you want to?”

“Only if you paint my nails afterwards.”

“Deal.” She licked her spoon thoughtfully. “So you and River.... you're getting kind of dirty there.”

The Doctor paused with a spoonful of probably-banana halfway to his mouth. “Excuse me?”

“'Ooh, River, kill things for me, yeah do it harder, baby.'”

He pointed at her with his free hand. “That is _not_ what I said.”

“Near enough. So is she kinky in bed?”

“I haven't... that's a very personal question.”

“Ice-cream,” said Amy, “demands personal questions.”

“Handcuffs may have been mentioned,” he told her, digging in the tub with his spoon.

“On you or on her?”

“I'm not actually sure. I haven't slept with her yet.” He blushed slightly. “Not that I'm assuming anything, I might never have sex with the woman.”

“Ah, you're still in denial. But you've thought about it, yeah?”

“I don't think the ice-cream really _demands_ this line of questioning.”

Amy leaned forwards a bit. “Do you ever... you know?”

“What?”

She gestured, which only got a confused shake of the head from the Doctor.

“Do Time Lords wank?” she asked, finally.

The Doctor swallowed a mouthful of ice-cream. “Of all the things you could possibly ask about the great race of Time Lords, you choose _that_?”

“Ice-cream-related confessions never leave the room,” she promised.

The Doctor toyed with the spoon in his hand. “In my experience – which is quite substantial – any animal that can reach... those parts tends to spend a fair amount of time exploring them.”

“So that's a yes.”

He shrugged. “I have a healthy interest in sex, for your information, and since I'm lacking a partner then yes, I do have to sort it out myself.” He picked up another spoonful. “Is this really what women talk about when everyone else is asleep?”

Amy pushed onwards. “Do you ever think about me while you're doing it?”

He looked at her carefully and nodded. “You. And Rory. Sometimes, yes.”

“Together or separately?”

“It depends. Can we talk about something else now? Why don't we have conversational safe-words?”

“You're being very open about all this,” said Amy. “I'm surprised.”

“Bananas,” he said, as though that explained everything. He poked her spoon with his. “What about you, Mrs Pond? What about your sex life?”

“Have I ever told you,” she said, without a hint of a blush, “that I was thinking about you when I had my first orgasm?”

“I can't say I'm shocked.”

Amy looked into the tub at the dance of spoons. “Are we having spoon-sex?” She ran her own cutlery up the length of his.

The Doctor took a while to answer. “I think we may be.” He loaded his spoon with ice-cream and moved it to her mouth. “I think this is the traditional next step,” he said quietly.

Amy swallowed the offered ice-cream and made a great show of licking her lips, never breaking eye-contact.

“It never leaves this room?” he asked.

“Never.” Amy took the next mouthful and then asked “Is this one of those sexual fantasies where you get me really fat by feeding me constantly?”

The Doctor blinked. “Is it what?”

“I've seen it on the internet. Some people really get off on it.”

“You humans,” said the Doctor mildly, “never cease to amaze me.”

Amy stood up, smoothed her nightdress, and headed to the door.

“Have I frightened you?” asked the Doctor. “Or did you want me to say yes to the feeding fantasy thing?”

Amy closed the door and turned back to the Doctor. “Why isn't there a lock on this door?”

“In the kitchen? Why would I need to lock the kitchen from the inside?”

“You never know.” She hopped up onto the table, turned to sit with a leg on either side of the Doctor. “What next?”

The Doctor picked up a spoonful of ice-cream and looked at it speculatively before dropping it onto her knee. Amy shivered, then shivered again when he leaned in and licked it off her skin.

“You're serious about this,” she said, surprised by how hoarse she sounded.

“I'm always serious.”

“Even when you're joking?”

“Especially when I'm joking.”

Amy leaned back on her hands. “If this is a joke I might actually kill you.”

“I've thought about this,” he said, calmly. “There wasn't any food involved, but...” he traced the outside of her calves with his fingertips, ran his hands up over her knees and settled them on the outsides of her thighs. The fingers of one hand toyed with the edge of her nightdress. “This is new,” he said.

Amy breathed out slowly. “Wedding present.”

“How guilt-inducing,” said the Doctor, not sounding even the slightest bit guilty.

Amy started thinking of a reply and was cut off as he moved a hand smoothly up her leg and started playing with the red curls between her legs.

“No underwear, Pond?”

“I wasn't expecting company.” She squirmed a little, trying to get him to touch her more.

He kept his hand steady, stroking slowly. “Still, glass floor in the console room, I'd expect you to be more careful.”

“Not my fault your spaceship's perverted.”

“She was trying to impress me. A new dress in case I got bored of her.” He stood and placed his other hand on the back of Amy's neck. “She can be rather insecure at times.” He leaned towards Amy, stopping with his lips millimetres from hers.

“Are you going to kiss me or not?” she whispered.

His answer was the press of his mouth against hers, the feel of his lips and his tongue. Amy moved her hands, weaving her fingers through his hair.

Finally he broke away and said “You'll have to be quiet. Can you manage that, Amy Pond?”

She pressed her legs together until his body filled the space between her thighs. “Can you?” She moved her left hand down between them, pressed against his groin, grinned when he let loose a quiet moan.

He helped her take off her nightdress, peeling satin from skin. She pushed her chest out brazenly under his stare. “See anything you like?”

The Doctor winced. “How cliché.” He cupped her breasts in his hands and squeezed gently. “I hoped you'd be a bit more original.”

“Not really in a thinking mood,” she said, cut off from adding more when he replaced a hand with his mouth and swirled his tongue round a hardening nipple. She fisted her hands in his hair, pulled him against her. Oh, he had better not be joking with her. She moved her hands from his head and reached between them to tug at his trousers.

“Already?” he asked. “Shall I just skip all the impressive things I planned to do before that?”

“There's kind of a time element here,” she reminded him. “Unlike in fantasy-land, certain people might just wake up before we're done here.” She stopped, hoping she hadn't put him off by bringing her husband into the conversation.

She hadn't. She pushed his braces from his shoulders as he unfastened his trousers, made a grab for his cock as soon as she saw it.

“I like this,” she said, stroking him as slowly as she could manage. She realised she was shaking slightly.

“I suppose you imagined it bigger.”

“Nope.”

“Now that's unexpected.”

“I'm just full of surprises.” She shimmied towards the edge of the table, lined their bodies up against each other.

“That you are,” he said, sliding into her so slowly that she was sure she'd remember every inch for the rest of her life.

She managed to be quiet, at least quieter than he was. He seemed to have forgotten that they weren't entirely alone. She bit his shoulder when she felt an orgasm creeping up on her, and worried about leaving a mark. Then she didn't worry about anything, and everything was perfect.

She came back to herself with the Doctor hard inside her and completely still. She shifted her hips to encourage him and he shook his head.

“We can't risk it,” he told her, pulling out with a sad little sigh.

 _Trust him to bring everything crashing back to reality_ , she thought. She pushed him back from the table and before she quite knew what she was doing she was on her knees with his cock in her mouth. It wasn't something she thought she was very good at, but he'd left her feeling generous.

He leaned back against the wall and touched her hair, not leading her, just touching. “Amy,” he said, “Amy, Amy, Amy.”

She ran her tongue over him once more and then felt him slump against her and her mouth filling with heat. He didn't taste like any of the men she'd been with before, and as she spat it on the floor she thought she caught a hint of something like banana.

“Yeah, I know,” she said, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand, “girls always swallow in your fantasies.”

He laughed at that, tidying himself up and fastening his trousers again. Amy picked up her nightie and stood up, pulling it over her head. It stuck to her skin and she decided that a shower might be an idea before she went back to bed.

He kissed her forehead. “I'll clean up,” he said.

“That's never going to happen again, is it?” she asked.

“Probably best if it doesn't,” he told her. “We can write this off as ice-cream-induced insanity.”

“I don't want to write it off.”

“You can't always have what you want,” he said, in a warning tone.

Amy nodded. She couldn't have both of them, she knew that. “Same time tomorrow?” she tried.

The Doctor shook his head. “I've got sleep to catch up on.”

“After that.”

“I don't think there'll be an after that.”

“Okay,” she said.

He held up the tub of melted ice-cream. “I'll never look at spoons the same way again.”

She had to laugh at that.


End file.
